Dear TRENDS Diary –
I know Boulder well. I’ve had a perfect vantage point for seeing what life here is like for a lesbian. Not that I knew I was a lesbian early on. I didn’t have a name for who I was, but I knew what I was not. Being in a group that is hidden does that to people—interferes with their awareness of who they are.
I knew that Boulder’s 1974 electoral rejection of Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual (LGB*) rights was somehow relevant to me, but I couldn’t say why. Oppression interferes with clarity. I knew it felt bad.
When I returned to Boulder after college, I still wasn’t sure who I was though I was aware I was “tense a lot.” I saw a therapist who helped me to name myself: “I’m a lesbian.” When I came out to my family, my brother said: “Sue was the last person in the family to know.”
Once I had put that important information into words, I had access to the LGB community. Life was different; I was less tense. I worked on Boulder’s 1987 campaign for LGB rights—and we won! That was followed by wonderful community engagement.
1992 came and, with it, the Amendment 2 vote. Even though I hadn’t known I was a lesbian until well into my twenties, I was a leader in the campaign. I traveled over the state, fighting hard for LGB protections against discrimination. Still, I knew LGB people would lose this election. I was right. LGB rights were defeated, many of my LGB friends left Colorado and I was depressed.
I had to pull myself out of the depression. Another round of therapy was helpful. Now, I wonder why we call it depression—a name for an individual, internal problem–when it is the culture that causes the problem.
– Sue Larson, as told to Glenda Russell
* The collective term LGB is used here in reference to elections in 1974, 1987, and 1992 due both to that term’s widespread usage during those times and to the legal language of the elections held then.
