TYES empowers families and caregivers of gender expansive children by providing resources, education, outreach, and advocacy information toward safe, supportive environments that allow youths to experience their authenticity.
Under the auspices of PFLAG (Parents, Friends and Family of LGBT people), the statewide, volunteer-run TYES project – a grantee of the Community Foundation – aims to support all gender expansive children and their families.
“We were founded about 10 years ago by a mom who, at the time, had a 7-year-old daughter who came out,” says Reaca Pearl, a member of the TYES leadership team who is queer herself – and whose own daughter, Lily (pictured above), is bi-gender. “There wasn’t a sense of community among parents of transgender children, and there weren’t resources to draw upon. So TYES was founded as a way to make connections among parents, and among their trans kids.
“Today, we’re committed to helping parents support their kids, and to help families find the information and understanding they need.”
Specifically – via bimonthly meetings in Boulder, a new support group in Denver that starts on May 21, and a range of other activities – TYES empowers families and caregivers of gender expansive children by providing resources, education, outreach, and advocacy information toward safe, supportive environments that allow youths to experience their authenticity.
“If people want to be out there advocating, that’s great – but they certainly don’t have to,” Reaca says. “We’re inclusive of all parents who want to support their kiddos, regardless of where they are in the acceptance process. We go where we’re needed, and where there are opportunities to create community.
“We do some cool things together, like camps for parents, their trans kiddos, and their siblings. The first time that trans kids are around other trans kids, a lot of big emotions come up. Our camps aren’t therapeutic family camps, but we have those supports available.”
According to Reaca, “erroneous beliefs abound, often by folks who are religiously opposed.”
“There’s this whole bizarre misconception that trans people are somehow sexual perpetrators,” she adds. “It’s based on fear, and it’s entirely unfounded – sexual perpetrators are usually straight men in kids’ own racial identity. There’s no correlation at all.
“I want people to get accurate information for and about their trans kids, and I put myself out as a source of education. The way I see it, I have 11 years to change the world for the better – a world in which my daughter, now 7, will be safer.”
Reaca also points out that some parents seeking support may face pushback from other family members. “They may be perceived as seeking attention when, in reality, the parents we work with are simply willing to do anything humanely possible to make their child’s life better, and the world less dangerous for them.”
Another common reaction toward parents of trans kids is blame. “We don’t blame parents for autism, because we’ve learned a lot about what causes it. But blaming parents because they have a trans child isn’t unusual.
“We’re not forcing anything on anybody else, and neither are our kids. We’re just asking for respect for our kids. That’s our fundamental premise.”
